Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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