Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize