If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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