Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize