my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
