they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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