and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
