I am spending my child support on dildos
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
