so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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