at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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