Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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