Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
