Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
