If i come over, it means nothing
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
