Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
