That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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