apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
