her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize