I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
