ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
