I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
