so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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