she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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