My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
