It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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