I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
