yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize