five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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