Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
