so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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