Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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