in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
