Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
