it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
