I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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