so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize