I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
