Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
soo... how was my night?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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