dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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