Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
