She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Even my vagina gasped.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
