i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize