No, you can still breathe under the balls.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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