So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
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All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
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So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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