he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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