Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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