I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
