I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
