i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
