It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
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the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
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Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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