Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
