I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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