what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
