Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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