guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
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5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
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I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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