Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize