i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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