If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sorry about my life...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
