Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think I died a long time ago.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
