dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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